
imme Them Peanuts ! 



^ ^^Hokum*^ Afterpiece 




ALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 
BOSTON, MASS. 



r 



WIGS 

AND OTHER HAIR GOODS 
WHISKERS AND MUSTACHES 

State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. 

Full Beard on Wire $1.50 Side Whiskers on Gauze. .$1.00 

Full Beard on Gauze 2.25 .'- ' 4:ers on Wire... .75 

Chin Beard on Gauze, 6 in. ; iiiskers on Gauze I.io 

long 1.35 1 hioat Whiskers on Wire. .75 

Chin Beard on Gauze, 4 in. Santa Glaus Beard on 

long l.oo Wire 2.50 

Chin Beard on Wire 75 Mustache on Gauze 30 

Tramp Beard on Cambric Goatee on Gauze 30 

(black and brown only) . 1.25 

MEN'S WIGS 

State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. 

Dress, with parting, all Modern Japanese 5jOO 

colors $6.00 Chinese with Queue, 

"Uncle Josh" 6.00 ' > Top 5.00 

Dutch 6.50 ( ill 1.25 

Irish, chamois top 6.00 WaU j i^nobs 2.00 

Jew Character 5.00 Negro, black, for Min- 

Crop, Red and Blond 4.50 strels, etc 1.25 

Other colors 4.25 Negro, Old Man, White 

Court or Colonial $5.50 or Gray 2.2S 

Indian 6.00 Negro, Bald, White or 

Gray 3,25 

LADIES' WIGS 

State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. 

Soubrette, all colors $6.50 Court or Colonial $8.50 

Old Maid, all colors Q.00 Indian Girl 6,00 

Irish Biddy ... o Mammy . . 3.00 

Sis Hopkins . . 1 ■ vv 2.25 

Crepe Hair, Different colors, for making mustaches, eta 

Per yard, .45 ; half yard 25 

In ordering Wigs give Size of Hat. State Color V. it, T on 
Hair Goods. Wigs not rented but made to order. Usn 's 

can be sent by return mail, but it is best to allow a margin o£ 
two or three days. 

C. O. D. orders must be accompanied by twenty-five per cent 
of price. Do not send orders by telegraph on a few hours' 
notice. 

All hair and make-up goods sent by mail or express prepaid, 
unless otherwise stated. Prices on hair goods subjecf to change 
without notice. 

Always send your orders to 

WALTER R BAKER 00^ Boston, Mass. 



i 



Gimme Them Peanuts! 

A "Hokum" Afterpiece in Three Scenes 



By 
WALTER BEN HARE 

Author of msre than one hundred plays including 
"A Couple of Million," "The Adventures of Grandpa,' 
"Professor Pepp," "Old Days in Dixie," "Over 
Here," "Much Ado About Betty," "The Hoodoo," 
' ' Teddy, or the Runaways, " " The Dutch De- 
tective," "And Billy Disappeared," etc. 




BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

I 9 2 I 



Gimme Them Peanuts ! 



6^^ 



^^ .c^^ 




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.^^ \^v^ 



NOTICE 



Production of this play is free to amateurs ; but 
the sole professional rights are reserved by the 
author, who may be addressed in care of the 
publishers 



Copyright, 1921, by Walter Ben Hare. 

Copyright, 1922, by Walter Ben Hare. 

Ai author and proprietor. 



All rights reserved. 

©CI.D 01599 
AUG '4 1922 



00 

i 



(Bimme Zhcm peanuts ! ^ 

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A " Hokum " Afterpiece in Three Scenes 

CHARACTERS 

Previous, the hungry. 

MONEYPENNY, the flUt. 

Gladys, the nurse. 
DiNTY, the crook. 
Dusty, the tramp. 
McGiNTY, the cop. 

{All may he played in blackface, or only Previous, at the 
discretion of the manager.) 

SCENE ONE 

SCENE: — A room neatly furnished. Couch down l. Table 
and chairs down R. Entrance at l. Practical zvindow at 
rear. Mysterious music takes up curtain. Dark stage dis- 
closed. DiNTY appears at window and flashes light around 
the stage. 

DiNTY. Nobody here. *Tis well. This will be an easy 
job. {Climbs in the windozv.) I'll close the doors and turn 
up the lights. 

17a 



THB MINSTRBL BNCYCLOPBDIA 173 

(Previous appears at the window. He carries a lighted 
candle in a bird-cage and a big carpet-bag of burglar 
tools. ) 

Previous. Am this the place? 

Din. Shhh ! You mustn't make any noise. You'll arouse 
the house. 

Pre. Then maybe they'll gimme something to eat. Hon- 
est, boss, I ain't had nuffin to eat for two days. Ain't had a 
square meal for two weeks. Ain't had chicken for two years. 

Din. Shhh ! Come in, and don't make any noise. 

Pre. This here being a burglar certn'y am a hungry 
business. 

{Climbs in at windoiv awkwardly, falls making a big 
racket. ) 

Din. {points revolver at him). Another bit of noise and 
you'll wake up a corpse. 

Pre. {on floor). Gimme that revolver ! 

Din. What do you want with the revolver ? 

Pre. I want to eat it. 

Din. First we must find out where the old man keeps his 
safe? 

Pre. Say, boss, I wants to know just one thing. 

Din. Well? 

Pre. Is there anything to eat in that safe? 

Din. No, but there is money, plenty of it, maybe a million 
dollars, and diamonds. 

Pre. I'd rather have a po'k chop and some nice fried 
onions. 

Din. Here is my jimmy. This little jimmy will do the 
work. 

Pre. Whar is he? 

Din. Who? 

Pre. Jimmy. 

Din. Keep still. Don't say a word. Don't move. Don't 
breathe. 

Pre. {gives a long sigh). 



174 THH MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 

Din. What's that ? 

Pre. It just slipped out. 

Din. If you make any more noise I'll murder you. 

Pre. I tell you it just slipped out. I'm so hungry I can't 
help it. I feel like my inner tube has got a slow puncture. 

Din. Nov»^ I'll turn up the lights. We're all alone. 
{Lights up.) 

Pre. Let's go out and rob the kitchen. 

Din. No, I'm after the safe. I must use force. 

Pre. If I had some Force I'd eat it. 

Din. If you ever expect to be a housebreaker you must 
learn to keep silent. 

Pre. I used to have a brother who was a housebreaker. 
He ain't now. 

Din. What is he now? 

Pre. He's a stonebreaker. He always was crooked. 

Din. Crooked ? 

Pre. Yup. He's a hunchback. 

Din. If I get at the safe I have the gunpowder all ready. 
Did you ever use gunpowder? 

Pre. Never did. I always use insect powder. 

Din. Now I'm going to look for the safe. You stay here 
and keep watch. 

Pre. If they's any peanuts in dat safe, boss, don't forget 
li'r Previous. 

Din. {dramatically) . Move but one step while I am away 
and I will fill you as full of holes as a Sweitzer cheese. [Bxit. 

Pre. I certn'y wish I could find a ham sandwich walkin' 
round in here. I'm so hungry dat if any one said eat to me, 
every one ob ma six cylinders would backfire. {Sees howl 
of goldfish on table. ) Lawsy, lawsy, look-a there ! The good 
angel's done answered ma prayer. Dey got a fish pond right 
here on the table. Here's whar I eats. {Tries to catch fish.) 
Come here, dog gone you, come here and lemme catch you. 
(Moneypenny enters and ivatches him unobserved.) I got 
one. {Bats it.) Tastes kinda damp and wetty but it certn'y 
got a fine flavor. (Note. Make the fish of carrots.) 



THB MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 176 

MoNEYPENNY (comes dozvn). Ah, there you are! 

Pre. Discovered ! 

MoN. I'm glad you're here.; 

Pre. Is you? 

MoN. I've been waiting for you all afternoon. 

Pre. Let's have some supper. 

MoN. Do you know who I am? 

Pre. I don't recognize your face, but your manner certn'y 
am familiar. 

MoN. To tell you the truth, I am a nut. 

Pre. I wish you was a doughnut. 

MoN. My father was a kernel, and that made me a nut. I 
just landed here from Brazil. Surely you know my sister. 

Pre. Do I ? 

MoN. Her name is Hazel. If they get silk from a silk- 
worm where does the tape come from ? 

Pre. Man, you cert'ny got a line of fluent conversation. 

MoN. Do you remember the first time we met? 

Pre. I shore do, it was in . {Name near-by town.) 

MoN. You took me up in your aeroplane. 

Pre. Who did ? 

MoN. Don't you remember? I put the goggles on my 
eyes and climbed in the car. You started it and we went 
skimming along the ground, then we rose a thousand feet 
in the air. 

Pre. Dat was some rise. 

MoN. Now we are skimming along at a great rate. See, 
there's the moon. Hippity hop, right over the moon! 

Pre. Say, we's sure going some, ain't we? 

MoN. But there's a cow on the track. 

Pre. Dat's the cow that jumped over the moon. 

MoN. Now the brakeman is ringing his bell and we slow 
down to ninety miles an hour. The conductor and the porter 
in the Pullman car are playing pinochle in the baggage coach. 

Pre. Ain't we up in an airship ? 

MoN. Toot toot, goes the whistle, clang-clang goes the 
bell! 



176 THU MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 

F*RE. We hit that old cow and are blown all to (Hesitates.) 
the bad place ! 

MoN. But my horse is running faster than your horse. 

Pre. Your boss? 

MoN. He's a bay filly and yours is a chestnut mare. 

Pre. Gimme them chestnuts. 

MoN. We are racing for dear life! Her ears are thrown 
back and foam covers her nostrils. On we speed, me on my 
good steed Peanuts ! 

Pre. Gimme them peanuts! 

MoN. And there's only one thing that kept me from win- 
ning the race. 

Pre. Somebody ate the peanuts. 

MoN. No, something is the matter with the rudder and the 
ship is veering around. 

Pre. Ship? What ship? 

MoN. The good old bark, Fido. 

Pre. Fido is a hot dog now. 

MoN. A storm is coming up and the waves are rolling 
high. " Stop ! All hands on deck ! I am the captain of this 
craft and I order the ship to lay to ! " 

Pre. Order it to lay two eggs and gimme one. 

MoN. There is a mutiny on board and the sailors refuse 
to take my orders. 

Pre. Give your orders to the cook, see if he'll take 'em. 
I'll order peanuts. 

MoN. I'm getting seasick. 

Pre. It wouldn't do me no good to get seasick. I couldn't 
get no results. 

MoN. It always makes me seasick to ride across the desert 
on a camel. 

Pre. Are we on the desert now ? 

MoN. Certainly we are on the desert. 

Pre. I'll have some peanut pie for my desert. 

MoN. Right over there is a date palm, the camels are 
heading for the date palm. 

Pre. I like dates, too. 



THB MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 177 

MoN. But there is trouble in the gear-case and the ninety 
horse-power Ford is slowing down. Was that a puncture ? 

Pre. Shore was, and I'm the result. {Showing trousers 
are much too large.) 

MoN. Get out and crank up. 

Pre. Crank up what, the camels? 

MoN. Certainly not, the Fatimas. 

Pre. You tell 'em, old crank, you've lost your nut. 

MoN. Now we're spinning down the boulevard in great 
shape. We'll get there at last if the gasoline holds out. 

Pre. Yes, but my appetite's holdin' out, too. 

MoN. All the girls are out on the dock watching our 
motor boat. 

Pre. Say, man, you certn*y are a traveller, ain't you ? 

MoN. And now we're at the county fair riding around on 
the merry-go-round. 

Pre. Hold on, boss, I ain't on no merry-go-round. 

MoN. Where are you? 

Pre. I'm driving the bakery wagon down (Name.) Street 
and delivering warm home-made mince pies and peanuts. 

{Bnter Nurse.) 

Nurse {to Previous). Oh, you've come at last, have you? 

Pre. Yas'm, lady, I've come. He said he'd been waiting 
for me all afternoon. 

Nurse. You are just in time. The first thing you must 
do is to bathe his temples with cold water. 

Pre. I'd much prefer to bathe them with oyster soup. 

{Bnter Dinty.) 

Din. {seeing others) . Discovered! 
Nurse. Who is this man ? 
Pre. That's my father. 

Nurse. Oh, then it's all right. I thought he was a 
burglar. 

Din. Certainly not. I am his father. 

Nurse. And you brought him here to take the position? 



ITS THB MINSTRHL HNCYCLOPBDIA 

Din. Exactly. He came to take the position. 

Nurse. First, I must ask you a few questions. Is your 
son honest ? 

Pre. Honest and hungry. 

Din. Certainly, he is honest. 

Nurse. Has he had any experience? 

Din. a little. 

Pre. I ain't had very much experience in being honest. 
But I certainly am an experienced eater. 

Nurse. He seems strong and capable. 

Din. And he's very good natured. 

Nurse. I suppose you saw my advertisement in the morn- 
ing papers. I said I wanted a good, strong boy to take care 
of an invalid. 

Din. He's strong, all right. 

Nurse. Yes, I noticed that the minute I came into the 
room. 

Din. Well, I think I'll go now. My boy gets the job, does 
he? 

Nurse. I'll try him out. 

Din. Very well. You may send his wages to me. Mr. 
Dynamite Dinty, General Delivery. I'll get 'em. 

Pre. Yes'm, he'll get 'em. He always gets everything. 
I don't even get my eatings. 

Din. Good-evening. {Goes to door.) 

Nurse. Good-evening, sir. 

Din. Maybe I'll drop in later. {Bxits. 

Nurse. Now, boy, what's your name ? 

Pre. My name's Previous. 

Nurse. Previous what? 

Pre. Previous Difficulties. 

Nurse. I think you had better take Mr. Moneypenny out 
for a little evening walk. 

Pre, After supper. 

Nurse. No, you shall have your supper when you get 
back. 

Pre. If I don't have some supper I'll never get back. 



THB MINSTRHL BNCYCLOPBDIA 179 

Nurse. Oh, that's all right. Eating isn't everything. 

Pre. No'm, lady, but it shore is important once in a while. 

Nurse. Now above all things you must humor Mr. 
Moneypenny. 

Pre. Humor him ? What with ? 

Nurse. Whatever he wants you to do you must do it. 

Pre. I hope he'll want me to eat. 

Nurse. You understand {Touches forehead.) he's just a 
little eccentric. 

Pre. He ain't crazy, is he ? 

Nurse. Certainly not. He has too much money to be 
crazy. He's just a little eccentric, that's all. I'll leave him 
in your care while I prepare his Oz-o-ka-loosum. YBxit. 

Pre. Say, prepare me some of that Ozo-kaloo-sum too, 
I like mine fried. Bring me some peanuts, too. 

MoN. {coming dozvn). And now for the shining adven- 
ture. 

Pre. (c._, a little upstage). He ain't crazy, he's just ec- 
centric. 

MoN. You must be very careful with me, boy, very care- 
ful. For I'm all made of glass. 

Pre. {looks at him curiously). 

MoN. And you mustn't take me into the sunshine. 

Pre. No, he ain't crazy, he's just eccentric. 

MoN. A transformation has taken place in me. I have 
been changed into a piece of glass. My head is cracked. 

Pre. You tell 'em, old liberty bell, you're cracked clean 
through. 

MoN. Folks can see right through me. 

Pre. Yas, and if I don't get sump'm to eat pretty soon, 
folks kin see right through me, too. 

MoN. In the first place we must go out. 

Pre. In the first place we must eat. 

MoN. We must buy some peanuts. 

Pre. Now you's talking. 

MoN. You see my old grandfather died from peanuts. 

Pre. What did he do? Have peanuts on the brain? 



180 THB MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 

MoN. No, he was very ill and the doctors refused to let 
him have any solid food for days and days and days. Finally 
he eluded them and ate five dollars' worth of peanuts, and he 
died. 

Pre. Oh, death, where Is thy sting? If I had five dollars' 
worth of peanuts I'd take a chance. 

MoN. And he left me all his money on one condition. 

Pre. Peanuts. 

MoN. Precisely. Once every year on grandpa's birthday 
I must go out to the graveyard on the stroke of midnight and 
place a large sack of peanuts on his grave. 

Pre. And what becomes of them peanuts? 

MoN. He eats them. 

Pre. Who eats 'em ? 

MoN. My grandfather. He comes right up out of his 
grave and eats them. 

Pre. {to audience). No, he ain't crazy, he's just eccentric. 

MoN. You mustn't tell the nurse. 

Pre. I won't tell her a word. 

MoN. Then we'll sneak out and buy some peanuts. {Get- 
ting loud.) We'll buy sacks of peanuts, bushels of peanuts, 
oceans and oceans full of peanuts. 

Pre. {boldly). Go ahead, go as far as you like. 

MoN. {dancing around and yelling) . Nothing like peanuts, 
peanuts. {Sings.) Peanuts for my grandpa's grave. 

{Enter Nurse zvith glass of milk.) 

Nurse. Here, here, here. Calm down. Take a sip of 
this. {Gives him sip of milk.) 

Pre. He was just going to buy some peanuts when dat 
fool girl had to go and break up ma refreshments. 

Nurse {puts milk on table). If he gets excited again give 
him some more of the Ozo-kaloo-zum. [Exits. 

MoN. Oh, look at the baywindows. 

Pre. Hush, old baywindows. 

MoN. They're all dirty. Shame on you, you forgot to 
wash the baywindows. 



THB MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 181 

Pre. {at table). What'll I wash 'em with? Ozo-kaloo- 
zum? 

MoN. Certainly not. The baywindows should always be 
washed with bay-rum. 

Pre. Looks like milk. (Tastes.) Tastes like milk. 
(Drinks all.) By golly, it is milk. 

MoN. Ah, there is Ethel. Don't you know, me, Ethel? 
Speak to me ! Speak to your Moneypenny. She doesn't know 
me, because I have a collar on. Where is my Ozo-kaloo-zum ? 

Pre. I done drank your old Ozo-kaloo-zum. 

MoN. Drank it? Then you are poisoned, poisoned! 

Pre. Who is? 

MoN. You are. Any sane man who drinks Ozo-kaloo- 
zum dies in three minutes. 

(Previous looks astonished, then commences to squirm and 
jerk, then has big burlesque fit and falls to stage.) 

MoN. You are dying, you are dead. Ah, ha, I have killed 
him. (Goes to Previous, puts foot on his stomach.) The 
world is mine. 

Pre. (squirts up a mouthful of milk). Get off the earth. 

(Close in with street drop.) 

SCENE TWO 

SCENE: — A street in one. 

(Tramp quartet enters and sings popular quartet number.) 

Din. (outside). Hello, there! 
Dusty (one of the tramps). Who's there? 
Din. It's Dinty. 

Dus. (to other tramps). It's Dynamite Dinty, just back 
from a lay. 

(Bnter Dinty carrying a long white robe.) 



183 THU MINSTRBL BNCYCLOPBDIA 

Din. Hello, pards. 

Dus. Hello, Dinty, what luck ? 

Din. Not a thing but this. {Holds up robe.) I got it 
from a clothesline. 

Dus. Where's Previous? 

Din. We got caught in a house and I told them Previous 
had come in ansvi^er to their advertisement for a hired man. 

(Tramps all laugh.) 

Dus. He's some hired man. 

Din. Got anything to eat ? 

Dus. Sure. Got it all hidden down in the graveyard. 
We're going to have supper served right away, my lord. 

Din. In the graveyard ? 

Dus. Sure. Safest place in the world. Who ever heard 
of a bull in a graveyard? 

Din. I don't like graveyards. 

Dus. The dead can't hurt you and all other folks is too 
scared to come there. Come on, Dinty, and join us. We've 
got a chicken and everything. 

(All go out singing some popular quartet number.) 

MoN. (enters). Come along, Previous. 

Pre. (outside). I'm a-coming, but I jest naturally don't 
like to hurry. 

MoN. I believe you are afraid. 

Pre. (enters). No, I ain't, I'm jes' hungry, that's all. 

MoN. It's just a few blocks farther on. If we get lost we 
can ask the way from Samuel. 

Pre. What Samuel? 

MoN. Why, don't you know Samuel ? There he is. 

Pre. Whar is he ? 

MoN, (pretends to speak to some one, shaking hands, etc.). 
Good-evening, Samuel. It's been a long time since I've seen 
you. 

Pre. 'Deed it has. I isn't seen you yet. 



TUB MINSTRBL BNCYCWPBDIA 183 

MoN. How's the wife and all the little Samuels? 

Pre. By golly, Samuel's got a whole family. 

MoN. I just stopped you to ask you the way to the grave- 
yard. Oh, it's over there, you say. Very well, come along, 
Sadie. {To Previous.) 

Pre. Who you callin' Sadie? 

MoN. Why, you. Aren't you my little pet dog, Sadie ? 

Pre. Dog if I know. 

MoN. {patting his head). Nice little Sadie! (Previous 
hacks away. ) Fie, fie, Sadie, would you flee from me ? 

Pre. 'Course I'd flee, I'm jest full of fleas. Sadie's got 
the fleas. 

MoN. Come on, then, we're off to the graveyard. It's 
nearly midnight. 

Pre. Sadie's done decided dat she don't want no grave- 
yard at midnight. 

MoN. Are you afraid ? 

Pre. No, sah, I'm jest cautious, dat's all. 

MoN. The dead can't hurt you. 

Pre. You bet your life dey can't, kase dey ain' gwine 
kotch me. 

MoN. I've got to put the peanuts on my grandfather's 
grave. 

Pre. You go on and put 'em on your own self. 

MoN. {pulls him off). Nonsense, don't be a coward. 
Nothing is going to hurt you. ( They go out at l. ) 



SCENE THREE 

SCENE: — A graveyard, fidl stage. Wood wings and hack- 
ground. Set several white hoards around stage for tomb- 
stones. Box painted zvhite is at c, a little up-stage. 

(DiNTY, Dusty and Tramps are discovered sitting on the 
floor, down c, eating.) 

Din. No use talking, I don't like graveyards. 



184 THB MINSTRBL BNCYCLOPBDIA 

• 

Dus. We're going down to the railroad yard now and find 
a nice soft bed in a freight car. You want to come with us? 

Din. Not me. I'm going to wait till long toward morning, 
then I'm going back to the house where I left Previous. He'il 
let me in and we'll make a big haul. I'll wait around here 
till it's time. 

Dus. (rises). Come on, fellows, I'd ruther have a good 
sleep than rob the First National Bank. (Starts off.) 

Din. No one will see me here. I'll just slip on this robe 
that I stole and if any one docs come through the graveyard 
and sees me, they'll get the scare of their lives. I swiped this 
automobile honker, and that will help, too. 

Dus. (helps him put it on). You look like an old woman. 

Din. Or an old woman's ghost. 

Dus. There's some one coming that way, we'll go this 
way. You'd better duck, Dinty, some one is walking down 
the road. Come on, fellows. [Bxit Tramps at l. 

Din. Then it's me for the tombstone. (Hides hack of 
box. ) 

MoN. (off R.). Come along, boy, don't be so skeery. 

(Bnter from R.) 

Pre. (following him). Say, man, why didn't you have 
your grandpaw buried some place up-town where the lights 
are lit? 

MoN. That's my grandfather's tomb. (Points to box.) 

Pre. Um, boss, I jest naturally feels dat dis place ain't 
healthy. 

MoN. Of course It is. See, there's a policeman. 

Pre. Whar is he ? 

MoN. Coming right down the road. 

Pre. You certainly does see the most curious things. 

MoN. Now we'll put the peanuts on the tombstone just as 
the clock strikes twelve. 

Pre. When de clock strikes twelve I won't be here, I'll 
strike for home. 



THU MINSTRBL BNCYCLOPBDIA 185 

MoN. Bless my soul, I've forgotten the peanuts. 

Pre. We don't need no peanuts. All we needs is our 
good old fireside. 

MoN. Nonsense. I must get the peanuts. You stay here 
and guard the tomb while I go back and get the peanuts. 

Pre. Me stay here? 

MoN. Certainly. 

Pre. Who's going to protect me? 

MoN. Oh, grandpaw will protect you. 

Pre. I'll bet grandpaw will have to run some, if he do. 

MoN. And there's the policeman. He'll protect you. 

Pre. You's alia time seeing policemen and things. 

MoN. There he comes ; don't you see him ? 

Pre, No, I don't see him. Is his name Samuel? 

MoN. I don't know what his name is. What is your 
name, officer? 

(McGiNTY has entered and stands behind Previous.) 

McGiNTY. Me name's McGinty. 

Pre. Fo' Gawd's sakes! {Seeing McGinty for the first 
time. ) 

MoN. There's a five dollar bill for you, officer. My friend 
here is just a little scared and I want you to keep an eye on 
him. 

McG. I'll kape both eyes on him. 

MoN. You know me, don't you, officer? 

McG. Sure. You're the nutty Mr. Moneypenny. 

MoN. Then just come along with me till I buy the peanuts. 

Pre. You got to humor him. He ain't crazy, he's just 
eccentric. 

McG. Very well, son I'll go with you. Come along. 

Pre. I'll come along, too. 

MoN. You will not. You'll stay here and guard my 
grandpaw's tomb. Come along, officer. {They go out.) 

Pre. Mighty spooker-iferous round yere, I shore am. 
They say this old grabeyard is haunted by the ghost ob a yal- 



186 THH MINSTRBL HNCYCLOPBDIA 

ler hound dawg dat comes prowlin' round every night jes' 
about this time. I ain't afraid ob no hound dawg ghosts, 
pooh, li'r thing like dat can't scare Previous Difficulties. I'm i 
a brave man, I am. 

(DiNTY groans.) 

Pre. No, I ain't, I Mras jes' a-foolin'. I ain' brave a-tall. 
Pshaw, dat's jes' de night wind. I ain' gwine let no night- 
wind skeer me. {Goes to box.) I'm jes' gwine sot yere on i 
grandpaw's tomb and wait for old Mr. Nut. 

(DiNTY honks auto honk.) i 

Pre. {falls from box to stage). Oh, good Mr. Ghost, I" 
didn't do it. I's jest a pore liT black orphan boy wif one 
mother and one father ; please go on back in your grave and i 
lemme alone. 

{Enter Moneypenny.) 

MoN. Why, Previous, what's the matter? 

Pre. I seen him, boss. I shore did see your old grandpaw. 

MoN. What did he look like ? 

Pre. Great big long ears, 'bout a mile an' a half long, and '. 
a tail. Um-um ! 

MoN. He came up after his peanuts. 

Pre. Gimme dem peanuts. 

MoN. No, no, these are for grandpaw. 

Pre. He ain't no hungrier than I is. Give her, I say. i 
Your peanuts or your life. Gimme dem peanuts. | 

MoN. Help, help, police! 

{Bnter McGiNTY.) 

McG. Who calls the police? 

MoN. He stole my peanuts. 

McG. Gimme them peanuts. 

Pre. I didn't steal 'em, I only jest borrowed 'em. 



TUB MINSTREL BNCYCLOPBDIA 187 

McG. {louder). Gimme them peanuts. {Takes them and 
eats.) 

MoN. Here, here, officer, those are for my dead and gone 
grandpaw. Gimme them peanuts, or I shall report you to 
headquarters. ( Takes peanuts. ) 

McG. Then don't expect me to help you when you get in 
trouble. Now see here, you ! Don't you bother me any more. 

l^Bxits. 

MoN. Has he gone? 

Pre. Yassir, he's gone. 

MoN. Wasn't he a rude person ? 

Pre. He was most unladylike. 

MoN. He thought I had a gun, but I didn't. 

Pre. Ain't you got no gun ? 

MoN. Certainly not. 

Pre. {loudly). Then gimme them peanuts. 

MoN. No, no. {Starts to run.) 

Pre. {chasing him around the tombstones) . Gimme them 
peanuts. 

MoN. Help, help! {V'Ke.viovs grabs peanuts and Mo'ti'E.Y- 
PENNY runs out. ) 

Pre. Thank de Lawd I'm goin' to git sump'm to eat at 
last. {Sits on box.) Peanuts, you certainly look good to me. 

Din. {concealed, speaks softly in a ghostly voice). Gimme 
them peanuts. 

Pre. What's dat? 

Din. {louder). Gimme them peanuts. 

Pre. My Lawd, he's done come after 'em. 

Din. {honks horn and jumps at Previous, who screams and 
falls on his knees). Gimme them peanuts. 

Pre. Help, murder, fire, police, police! 

{Bnter Moneypenny and McGinty.) 

MoN. It's grandpaw's ghost. 

McG. {grabs Dinty). It's Dynamite Dinty, the crook. 
Come on you! {Drags him to R.) 



188 THB MINSTRBL BNCYCLOPBDIA 

Pre. Wait a minute. Ghost, gimme dem peanuts. 

McG. There's a reward of five hundred dollars for the 
capture of Dinty. Boy, I'll split it with you. 

Pre. {on box, eating peanuts). Don't bother me. I ain't 
got no time for no reward. All I wants is jes' to sit here with 
good old Mr. Moneypenny on his grandfather's tomb and 

eat (Moneypenny ^a^^.s /)^awwf^.) Here, gimme them 

peanuts ! 



QUICK CURTAIN 



PLEASE NOTICE 

The professional stage-rights and moving-picture rights in 
these entertainments are strictly reserved by the author. Ap- 
plications for the professional use of any material in this book 
should be addressed to the author in care of the publishers. 



i^^F 



AMATEURS' SUPPLIES 

f Kr.>'ARhi> HURNT CORK— Will not dry out. Always in 
condition for immediate use. Easily removed. Enough 

for foil-- r<">r''> P»r \nx (about 2 oz.). $ .30 

One-h N 1.85 

SPIRIT (.11 1 1 L iig on whiskei , t. Easily 

removed with Cocoa Butter or Cold Cream. Per bottle. .35 

COI.D CREAM — For removing grease paints, spirit gum, 

etc. In tubes ^o 

COCOA BUTTER — For same purpose as Cold Cream. jo 

CLOWN WHITE— For Pantomimes, Clowns, Statuary, etc. 

Per box 30 

r^'-'ri^'T' T T^TT? p. M.k 30 

! ick 30 

E\i. i i.;>^ n.sj— iilack, Pr'-vn T" nickel-plated 
Ml ,. Each 25 

GRi:> OR TIP ROUGE 35 

THE ^ . POWDER— Thoroughly hides 
Ml 41 I ; • isf paints. Not to be confused 
with street powder. No, I, White; No. 2, Flesh; No. 3, 
Hrunette; No. 4, Rose Tint for juvenile heroes; No. 7, 
Healthy Sunburn; No. 10, Sallow for both young and' 
old age; No. 11, all ruddy exposed characters; No. 17, 
American TiwV u P ' T '" <"^'l, " 40 

ROUGE DE 'I 1 shade for juve- 
nile and fait (_»>iiiiJicAHjii , i>u. jO, jbiuiiette for decided 
' ruiietfe types; No. 24, Deep Rose for darker hues. 
Per box 35 

HAIR POWDER— White only. To gray or whiten the 

hair or hoard -. 35 

' KFS— For applying blending powder 30 

r — For blending make-up 30 

ither, for lining face for wrinkles, etc 30 

Y — For liuilding up nose or chin 35 

EMAIL NUlK OR BLACK WAX— Black, for stopping out 
teeth 35 

WATER COSMETIQUE or MA SCARO— White, Black, 
Dark Brown, Light Brown, Blonde, Red, for coloring 
the beard, eyebrows or hair at temples to match wig. 
Removed wifh soap and water. Each 35 

MAKE-UP PENCILS— Light Flesh, Dark Flesh, Brown, 
Black, White, Gray, Carmine, Pink and Crimson. Set 
in a box I.35 

LINING PENCILS— Black, Brown, Crimson, Gray and 
White. Each .20 

LADIES' BEAUTY BOX— For stage or toilet use. Con- 
tains Flesh Color Face Powder, Theatrical Cold Cream, 
Theatre Rouge, Eyebrow Pencil, Powder Puff, Hare's 
Foot, Flesh Color Exora Cream and Lip Rouge 1.35 

Alwayi send your orders to 

WALTER H. BAKER CX)^ Boston, Mass. 



r 




AMATBURS' SU 

MAKE-UP BOX— For either Gentleman or Lady, a ttamlkuiie 
japanned tin case, with lock and key, and containing the 
following articles: A set of Grease Paints (nine colors). 
Blending Powder (two colors). Rouge de Theatre, Eyebrow 
Pencil, Greni-dine or Lip Rouge, Blue for the Eyes, Nose 
Putty, Email Noir or Black Wax, Mascaro or Water Cos- 
metique and Brush, Spirit Gum and Brush, Powder Puff, 
Cocoa Butter, Burnt Cork, Two Artist's Stomps, Hare's 
Foot, Mirror, Scissors and Five Colors of Crepe Hair. All 
these articles are of the best quality. The actual listed value 
of the articles enumerated, all of which are included with 
our complete Make-Up Box, would be over $7.00; so that 
the handsome carrying case is included at no additional cost 
when you buy this outfit. By express, shipping charges not 
paid $7.00 



GREASE PAINTS 

No. No. 

1. Very Pale Flesh Color. 12. 

2. IU«tt Flesh, Deeper Tint la 
& Natural Flesh Color for Juvenile Heroes. 14. 
4. Rose Tint Color for Juvenile Heroes. IS. 
R Deeper Shade Color for Juvenile Hcroes.16. 

6. Healthy Sunburnt for Juvenile Heroes. 17. 

7. Healthy Sunburnt, Deeper Shade. IS. 
& Sallow, /: • Youn- Men. 19. 
9. Healthy Color, for Middle Age. 20. 

10. Sallow, fcr OK! Age. 21. 

11. RM4dy, for Old A^e. 22. 



Olive, Healthy. 

Olive, Usliter Shade. 

GypsT Flesh Color. 

Othello. 

Chinese. 

Indian. 

East Indian. 

Japanese. 

Light Negro. 

Bl«dc 

White. 



(Done up in sticks of 4 inches in length at 30c each.) 



MISCELLANEOUS SUPPLIES 

FOR YOUR MINSTREL SHOW 

Minstrel Chorus Wigs (special price by 1 

End Men's Fancy Wig 

Fright Wig (Mechanical) 

"Uncle Tom" Wig. 

"Topsy" Wig 

Sonnetts or Clappers (per paii 
Paper Collars (end men) 

Dress Shirt Fronts 

Stage Jewelry : Shirt Stud 

Large Diamond Ring. . 

Stage Money : 20 sheets 

100 sheets.. 

Ahuays send your onien to 

WALTER H. BAICER CO^ Boston, Mass. 



$1.35 

2.25 

300 

2.2s 

2.2s 

.25 

•15 

35 

.50 

75 
.10 

.40 



wr^T' 



